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November 14, 2000

From Beverly Haynes, our longtime friend who now lives in sunny Arizona, we receive the following bit of church humor:

The Perfect Pastor

The results of a computerized survey indicate the perfect pastor preaches exactly 15 minutes. He condemns sin but never upsets anyone. He works from 8 a.m. until midnight and is also a janitor. He makes $50 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car and gives about $50 weekly to the poor.

He is 28 years old and has preached 30 years. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with senior citizens. The perfect pastor smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls daily on congregation families, shut-ins and the hospitalized, and is always in his office when needed.

If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other congregations that are tired of their pastor, too. Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the congregation on the top of the list. In one week, you will receive 1,643 pastors and one of them will be perfect. Have faith in this procedure. One congregation broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three weeks.

I have nothing to add to this, except to say that you may clip out the above and keep it until the next time you are on a search committee seeking a pastor for your church.

Recently I was fortunate enough to visit briefly with Myrna Niles Hamann and her husband, Tom, while they were in Oklahoma to attend her high school class reunion in El Reno. While Myrna lived in Perry a few years back, she enjoyed taking part in some Stagecoach Community Theatre productions. That rekindled her interest in acting, and in due time she wound up in the Los Angeles area hoping to land jobs in television or the movies. Since then she has had numerous small speaking roles on network TV and in major theatrical movies. She's still taking jobs as they come along so we get to see her every now and then. Myrna is well remembered here for her title role performance in SCT's production of the musical, "Mame," about 25 years ago. It was a part that could have been tailor-made for her. Tom and Myrna stopped here briefly on the trip to El Reno, and it was great seeing both of them at the home of Gene and Joan Breshears, along with several other friends. Myrna sends hugs to all her Perry friends.