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June 7, 2002

A pun-loving reader provides the following for our enjoyment. See if it gives you a chuckle, as it did when I read it.

Timmy was a little five-year-old boy who was loved very much by his Mom, and, being a worrier, she was concerned about his walking to school when he started Kindergarten. She walked him to school the first couple of days but when he came home one day, he told his mother that he did not want her walking him to school every day. He wanted to be like the “big boys.” He protested loudly, so she had an idea of how to handle it.

She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would surreptitiously follow her son to school, at a distance behind him that he would not likely notice, but close enough to keep a watch on him. Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew. She did this for the whole week. As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, the little friend of Timmy noticed that this same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally, he said to Timmy, “Have you noticed that lady following us all week? Do you know her?”

Timmy nonchalantly replied, “Yes, I know who she is.”

The little friend said, “Well, who is she?”

“That’s just Shirley Goodnest,” Timmy said.

“Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us?”

“Well,” Timmy explained, “every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers ‘cuz she worries about me so much. And in it, the prayer psalm says, ‘Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life,’ so I guess I’ll just have to get used to it.”

Just for good measure, her are a few more quickies from the same source:

If you use a computer, you are familiar with the virus woes that occur from time to time. Here’s how an “Amish virus” might we phrased:

AMISH VIRUS

You have just received the Amish Virus. Since we do not have electricity nor computers, you are on the honor system. Please delete all of your files. Thank thee.

That should be enough for today. Please tune in again next time.