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June 18, 2002

Here's a little political humor we hope everyone can enjoy, regardless of party affiliation. The author is anonymous.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican Presidential candidate nor the Democratic Presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election.

There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges and so forth. But a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things. The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.

After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification.

At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the starting line and he has ten fish. Soon Al Gore returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair, day or something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the second day George W. comes in with twenty fish and Al Gore comes in again with none. That evening Bill Clinton gets together secretly with Al and says: "Al, I think George W. is a lowlife cheatin' son of a gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way."

The next day, after George W. comes back with fifty fish, Bill Clinton says to Al:

"Well, what about it, is George W. cheatin'?" Al replies: "He sure is, Bill. He's cuttin' holes in the ice!"

Now for something a little different. It's cowboy humor and it may have come from the same author.

A tall, weather-worn cowboy walked into the general store. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger's hat was made of brown wrapping paper.

Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest also were made of paper. As were his chaps, pants and even his boots, including the paper spurs. Truth be told, even the saddle, blanket and bridle on his horse were made entirely of paper.

Of course, he was arrested for rustling.