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July 26, 2002

Here’s another contribution from a reader with a good sense of humor. It begins with the question, “Who Reads American Newspapers?” For answers, read on:

The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

The New York Times is read by the people who think they run the country.

The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country.

USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t understand The Washington Post.

The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time.

The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country.

The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country, as long as they do something scandalous.

Any dissenting voices?

If you enjoyed that bit of nonsense, try some of these:

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra.

You don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

The golden years are really metallic years – gold in the tooth, silver in your hair and most of all, lead in the pants.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ponder those thoughts for a while. Maybe they will tickle your funny bone.