February 11, 2003
A loyal reader passes along the following, which may or may not be new to you. I found it amusing, and hopefully you will, too.
You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married and had a little sweet potato, who they call "Yam." Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like "Hot Potato," and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But, on the other hand, she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato, either. She would get plenty of exercise and eat well so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland, and the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. When she went out west, they told her to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow, and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the one from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, "Frito Lay."
Mr. and Mrs.Potato sent Yam to Idaho RU. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just....
Are you ready for this? Are you sure? OK, here it is....
Tom Brokaw is just a COMMON TATER!
End of fable.
For all you football fans out there, here's a new fable that should bring a chuckle. (No offense meant to anyone who reads this.)
The subject is Bob Stoops in Heaven. After OU Coach Bob Stoops dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour of heaven. He shows Stoops a little two-bedroom house with a faded OU banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, Coach. Most people don't get their own houses up here," he was told. Coach Stoops looks at the house and then turns around and looks at the home sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge three-story mansion with white marble columns trimmed in gold and little patios under all the windows. OSU flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Pistol Pete banner hangs between the marble columns over the front entrance.
"Thanks for the house," Coach Stoops says, "but let me ask you a question. I get this little two bedroom house with a faded OU banner and Coach Miles get a mansion with Oklahoma State flags flying all over the place. Why is that?" God looks at him seriously for a moment, then says: "Bob, that's not Coach Miles' house. That's MINE."