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May 27, 2003

Teachers are called upon to perform a lot of things that are not necessarily in the realm of education. This is especially true in the lower grades, where many of the students are not yet too wise about such things as getting their boots pulled on in winter weather. A former Noble county rural school teacher offers this tidbit by way of demonstrating the point. Anyone who has dealt with youngsters will enjoy this. She says it's a true story.

A teacher in a Texas school was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and his pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on—this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", as she wanted to. And so, once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

Soon as they had the boots off, he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

Her trial starts next month.

For today's finale, here's another contribution that may amuse anyone who has ever had problems with a computer. There are technical reasons for that, but here is a Dr. Seuss explanation. You need to read this to yourself, aloud. You should also be alone. Here we go.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket or a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon put your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Well! That certainly clears things up for me!