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December 2, 2003

The Oklahoma City daily newspaper contained a profile of our own, Kumback Lunch the other day. It’s part of a feature appearing in the Dining Guide of the Food Page of their Entertainment section as Thanksgiving approached. The Dining Guide spotlights one or more Oklahoma restaurants, providing details about each, including menu selection, price range, decor, owners or chefs and other relevant information.

The Kumback hardly needs an introduction for anyone who has sampled its cuisine during the past several years. When Eddie Parker opened the business in 1925, he started a true Perry tradition, serving family food at reasonable prices. During the past 77 years, the Kumback has had only two owners—Eddie Parker and Tony Macias, who used to work for Eddie. Tony and his wife, Marilee, took over the operation in 1973, and the venerable institution now can rightfully claim to be the oldest Oklahoma restaurant still operating in the same location.

Here's another contribution from a loyal reader. We appreciate the humor in all, these offer-ings and hope you do, too. Here we go:

Most of us have learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling Heaven. For English, press 1. For Spanish, press 2. For all other languages, press 3.

Please select one of the following options. Press 1 for request. Press 2 for thanksgiving. Press 3 for complaints. Press 4 for all others.

I'm sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line. If you would like to speak to: God, press 1. Jesus, press 2. Holy Spirit, press 3.

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his/her social secu-rity number, followed by the pound sign.

If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666. For reservations to Heaven, please enter JOHN, followed by the numbers 3 16. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in Heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today. Please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor. Thank you and have a heavenly day.

I dunno. Think we're headed in that direction?