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January 6, 2004

The trouble with playing all these bowl games over a period of about two weeks is simply this: It requires too many hours of TV viewing, even though the time is spread over several days. If my eyeballs look like test patterns, that's the reason.

The readers continue to write, and several of them are passing along things that should produce a few chuckles for the rest of us. Here, personally selected by me, are a few of them. Enjoy.

This man in a Volkswagen Beetle pulls up to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: "Hey you got a telephone in that Rolls?" The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
"I got one too...See?"
"Uh-huh, yes, that's very nice."
"You got a fax machine?"
"Why, actually, yes, I do."
"I do, too! See? It's right here!"
"Uh-huh."
The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the VW says, "So, do you have a double bed in the back there?"
And the guy in the Rolls says, "NO! Do you?"
"Yep, I got my double bed right here. See?"
The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in the back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen. He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the VW are all fogged up and he feels a little awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen. The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy in the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?"
"Yeah, Yeah, I remember you. What's up?"
"Check this out...I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."
And the man in the VW says, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!!"
End of story.

Now, to wind this up, here are a couple more offered by a reader:

A backslider suddenly began attending church faithfully on Sunday mornings, instead of going fishing. The pastor was highly gratified, and told him, "How wonderful it made me feel to see you at services with your good wife!"

"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "it's a matter of choice. I'd rather hear your sermon than hers."

After Sunday service a young couple talked to the pastor about joining the church. The pastor hadn't met the husband before, so he asked what church the young man was transferring from. A little sadly, he replied, "I am transferring from the Municipal Golf Course."