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March 30, 2004

The readers write, thank goodness, and very often provide an ample supply of good material to fill these columns. What follows immediately is some humorous “stuff” from Jeanne Faris, a Billings-Perry girl who now lives in El Paso, Texas, with her daughter, Billie Jean. There's no particular theme, just some things in a Q and A format designed to tickle your funny bone. Thanks to Jeanne for passing these along.

Q. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A. Unique up on it.

Q. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A. Tame way. Unique up on it.

Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the Psycho Path.

Q. How do you get Holy Water?
A. You boil the Hell out of it.

Q. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
A. Darn!

Q. What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A. Polaroids.

Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A. Stick.

Q. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A. Nacho cheese.

Q. What do you call Santa's helpers?
A. Subordinate Clauses.

Q. What do you call bullfighters in quicksand?
A. Quatro Sinko.

Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

Q. What do you get when you cross a Snowman with a Vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. Nervous wreck.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Depending upon the demand, there may be more of these later.