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September 7, 2004

One-liners for your reading pleasure - You know you're in California When...

Here come some more one-liners to make you smile. Hope they're pointed in the right direction. By the way, these are provided by a relative, not that it makes any difference. Read on and enjoy.

You know you're in California when your coworker has eight body piercings and none are visible.

You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

You take a bus and are shocked at two people conversing in English.

Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring and is named Breeze.

You can't remember... is pot illegal?

A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

You've been to a baby shower that had two mothers and a sperm donor.

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugola.

You can't remember... Is pot illegal?

A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 a.m. at. Starbuck's wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers the mail is into S&M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy is drag.

You can't remember... Is pot illegal?

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station about "Storm Watch 2004."

You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks himself is teaching the 4 p.m. Tae Bo class.

You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.

It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

Hey! Is pot illegal?

Both you and your dog have and need therapists.

Kind of depressing, wouldn't you agree?