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October 12, 2004

More funny stuff

A correspondence friend who sent me the following anecdote says this is his favorite blonde joke. I'll let you be the judge of that after you have had a chance to read the story. I thought it was, well, kind of funny.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house. And asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde, after looking around, responded, "How about $50." The man agreed and told her that paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied: "She should: She's standing on it. Do you think she's dumb?"

"No, I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the dumb blonde e-mails we've been receiving."

A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already," the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had some paint left over, so gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man dug into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

End of story. What do you think?

File the following under "A bit of Country Wisdom," or somewhere else if you have a better idea.

Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

Mortgaging a future is saddling a wobbly colt.

A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere colt.

Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.

Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.

Words that sink into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

Meanness doesn't happen overnight.