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May 25, 2005

Folks seem to like these little attempts at humor, so here are some more to enjoy, I hope. A friend sends these to me and I also get a chuckly by reading them.

I took a look at the tires on my car the other day. I've seen more rubber on the end of a pencil.

Those aren't dents in the fenders of my car. They are old-age wrinkles.

I just bought a little Italian car. It's called Mafia. There's a hood under the hood.

Some men desert their families but most missing fathers are merely looking for a parking space.

Monologue is a conversation between a traffic cop and an auto driver.

"I understand that car of yours is the oldest car in the county."
"I guess it is. The last time I got plates for it, they gave me uppers and lowers."

Texas resident: "Back in Texas I can be up and in my car and drive all morning before I come to the end of my property."
Redneck: "I know your feeling. I've got a car just like that."

There are many desirable automobile accessories. A full wallet is the main one.

Nothing depreciates your car faster than a new model in your neighbor's driveway.

The guy was such a bad driver the police gave him a season ticket.

Robin Williams - Why do they call it the rush hour when nothing moves?

An inebriated Texas Aggie was arrested for driving down a one-way street the wrong way. The policeman asked, "Didn't you see the arrows?"
Inebriated Aggie: "I didn't even see the Indians."

A boy asked a lady if she had any work for him. She says, "Yes. You can paint my porch." She rustles up a can of paint and a brush and hands them to the boy."
An hour later he goes to the door and tells the lady: "I've got it painted. By the way that's a Corvette, not a Porsche."