December 21, 2005
Today we continue with more funny business from a regular reader in another state. She formerly lived here and keeps posted on local happenings by reading this newspaper. What follows is totally her contribution. Hope you enjoy it.
My husband and I fought constantly,
Why I married him, I'll never know.
For all those miserable years I said,
My Hubby's got to go!
Tried poisoning cakes,
Stripping his brakes,
Salting his pork chops with lime.
Wiring his chair, igniting his hair,
Even though arson's a crime.
But I failed at each plot
'till I suddenly thought
Of a way that would set me free!
I got rid of him for good and, know what?
They couldn't do a thing to me!
I took him back to Wal-Mart!
They'll take anything back you know!
They said they couldn't recall selling him,
But they must have if I said so!
They just credited him to my Visa and said,
"Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"
They were so nice, polite, pleasant and insistent,
I'll take back his mother next year!
They'll take anything back at Wal-Mart,
Though it's broken or rotten or sweet.
And know what else? This time of year
You don't even need a receipt!